Saturday, October 02, 2004

What the...

A bit disappointed. I lent out all that anime, and now I can't seem to get it back together.Missing a long stretch of Seed plus the ending 3 episodes, a chunk of scrapped princess, a chunk of Ghost in the Shell SAC. I think I can mostly get it back.. Seed, weihao still has copies, scrapped key has her own, SAC.. well I don't know anyone who keeps but should be doable. And in any case I will eventually buy the DVDs for these cos they're so good anyway. But it's that super sianz feeling that, hey, I lent you guys this stuff, couldn't I at least get it back in the component pieces? And now there's stuff mixed in with those episodes that I don't even know I've lost yet, and won't, until later on when I want towatch it and can't find it.

Probably just a reaction to that strong feeling, but I know, right now, I just don't feel like lending ANYONE any anime at all. Or anything at all. Not that I don't trust you per se, but things happen. Just like that Getbackers I got from HK, the last disc is now irretrievably trashed. No-one's fault, really, and in any case the subbing was so awful I hated the disc anyway. But things like that happen when ya loan stuff out. Or the laptop that I lent Jav and Ziwei, it's kind of old anyway, but now the monitor is out 1 line of pixels and I don't have the password to access my own laptop and the blame falls somewhere between 2 good friends. And the one big lesson I've learnt from Birmingham is that discussions of blame centering on money just hurt friendships. So it's an old laptop, thatwould have been nice to have for presentations and stuff, never mind write it off. And anime, sure, in any case if it's good i would buy the DVD eventually, and if it's bad it's no loss, right?

But, I've had enough. If a mildly hurt sms or question doesn't produce contrition and effort to search in even the best of people, then that's it, i'm not going to expose myself to shit anymore. In the past, Key asked me why I loan out the projector so easily.. (because it was really like making the rounds). To me, these things are meant to be used. House parties and stuff, gatherings, so on. I like these things! Picnic things like electric lanterns, water dispensers, tents, tables, drink coolers, portable radios, etc. If i could get a portable sound system to go with the projector I would probably carry it around with the projector and the laptop (sigh..) and use that as a set. And if people are throwing parties I'm perfectly willing to lend technical support. Cos parties are fun! But now, I think, if someone damaged the projector and just "blurly" says, oh I don't know leh, how, then what? Or not even the projector, I was telling Key the other time about me wanting to get all that picnic gear, Coleman flasks and stuff, and she was saying how at parties these things get damaged and lost all the time.

So... ya know what? I'm not gonna do it anymore. Sure, if people ask me I might still get soft, or I'll make a judgement call and say to myself this person is reliable and make explicit that I do expect compensation for the rare damage. But the default answer is now no. Maybe I'm less of a nice person now. so sorry about that.

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